assalamualaikum...Just came back from somewhere..uruskan hal my husband...A part of me rasa lega..sebenarnya banyak lagi hal yang belum settle,I try buat one at a time...nak gather strength lagi,nak bangun pagi-pagi pon seksa..iskh..Syukur Tuhan still panjangkan usia time bangun pagi,tapi bangun pagi memang trauma bagi saya bila I remembered that he was not around anymore..
i had 2 other friends that lost their husband...I envy ms N nie..dia 2nd day after her husbands death dia dah boleh smile at people...dia strong giler...the other one,still cying every day and still visit her husbands grave everyday..Hmm..lookl like people have their own way to deal with loss,kan..i nie taktaulah apa cerita lagi..this 2,3 days teringat our 1st date pulak...whish really2 breaks my heart into pieces...tried so hard to block my mind everytime teringat,but sheesh,gagal juga..sudahnya,banjir air mata..had to lie to Kyra everytime she asked me bout my red eyes..padahal..meraung sorang2 lepas solat..:(
tau kenapa semalam sadis,tak?We used to have a 3 mths long distance relationship masa belum kahwin dulu.I was in KL and he worked in langkawi..Sometimes dia balik at his moms kat mainland.So,kadang-kadang kalau we all gaduh,he won't call me..kira perang dinginla..then I nie pon jual mahal..Sampailah 1 stage,I miss him,I akan cari dia jugak...most of the time,I will call his mom and ask her where he is..and left a message to her asking him to call me asap.Malam tadi,I tengah tidur..then i realize that i haven't spoke to him nearly a month..so,in my dream tuh kira i thought that he must be mad at me or maybe we got into a fight ke apa...Then i terjaga,pukul 1 pagi ke haper,terus nak cari my phone,kira nak rang his mom la tanya dia pegi mana and left a message..Then time nak dial,tetiba pulak I realize that she won't be able to find him anymore...he has gone..Gone forever! astaghfirullah....I pon apa lagi,terjaga tu terus meleleh air mata..Adoila,sadisnya mimpi tu...It feels like the first night together....adoi,duhai hati,tenanglah....inilah yang I get when I love someone so much,padahal dulu selalu ingatkan member,kalau sayang someone,jangan sayang 100%,sebab bila anything happend,kita tak teruk sangat fall..Now,dah jadi pada saya..:(
4 ulasan:
alahai dear, I baca post-post you I pun rasa macam nak menangis. Be strong ok for Kyra. ='(
be strong meen.
I cannot imagine what you are going through my dear. To me you memang lagi kuat dari I. memang susah and I cannot bayangkan how susah. Cerita lah zaman2 you happy2 dulu .. maybe it could help cheer u up sikit. I sedih baca your entry. I could almost feel your pain .. though I doubt its anything close.
Take care my dear. I hope Allah will give you all the strength in the world to survive this. Take care ...
Gazillion of love ..
salam buat kak meen.
thanks kat alia yg link kan blog nih pada blog dia.
tak salah kakak layan perasaan kakak sekarang nih. bila satu hari akak rasa kuat, akak sebenarnya lebih kuat dari akak sangkakan.
salam kenal dari alis ;)
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