New Love....Pray For Me..

Assalamualaikum..its been a while since I jot something here..Well,apart of being so occupied with works..I can't seem to find the suitable mojo to write...Maybe I'm getting old..or no fun anymore..hahahaha..

Well,just a short update...lalalala,just wanna tell you all that I'm waiting for that special moment...Yeap..I'm in LOVE...can't wait for our first date in December..Wait for mr me my love......Since all of you have been so loyal with me,I can't resist to reveal..I know I told you I won't fall in love again..but...I guess,fate is so unpredictable right...

Dan pemenangnya adalahhhhhhhhhh......Please,keep this as a secret..

For Your Eyes Only...

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Lalalalala..the other half will be reveal..SOON! Owh,I'm So In Love!!!!

Not The Same Girl...

assalamualaikum...

I'm sorry its been a while since I jot something in here..Well,life is hectic...but the truth is I don't know what I did..sedar-sedar jer its another day...It's a brand new day...And deep down i knew that its just the same day as it was before..It felt the same..since he left...

I hated myself...for not being the same girl..the same jovial,cheerful mom..I've become someone else...someone that I didn't know...someone that I didn't wanna be..Kyra said I'm no fun anymore..And I knew that...But still,I let myself drowned....I went deeper and deeper..Didn't wanna be rescued....

I missed the old silly me...Laughed till I cried..dance in the rain,dived in the blue ocean and fed the fish...do some crazy stuffs...with him,with kyra...I missed playing Monopoly and scrabble with Him and Kyra..I missed those long conversation we had before sleep

I missed him so damn much...so damn much.....I know that whatever I did pun,he's not coming back...How hard I cried pun,he's not coming back to wipe my tears...He's gone....and I'm not here too...Allah Al-mighty,I wished..someday...I'll be able to pick up the little pieces of me..and be strong again..Al-Fatihah my dear husband..Everywhere I am there you'll be.....:(

When you are just too tired..

assalamualaikum..Salam aidiladha to all my readers out there..I believed some of you even fast today..I was planning to..but unfortunately nature calls..so,what to do,yang penting niat kita ye dak?

I'm sorry its been a while..since I wrote something here..Even ada my readers yang personally asked me whether I'm ok and why I've not been writing...Well,there's no specific reason..its just that I'm too bust with works...kyra's final exam and dealing with my own personal emotions...

Have you ever tried to be a strong person...and in the end you realised that you're just pretending just to make everyone around you happy?have you ever had to put up a smile when your heart is bleeding so badly?

Its been almost a year and I kept saying to myself that he has gone..forever..Its just that my heart kept denying the fact that he had left....I feel so tired..tired of crying..tired of counting days to see him again...:(

Buat apa pun rasa tak sempurna..Masak pun rasa ada yang kurang...Bila cuba bahagiakan hati sendiri,bahagia tu tak sepenuhnya...I can't be living like this forever,can I?? Kadang-kadang hati tu terpujuk..Kadang-kadang luka tu rasa seakan nak sembuh..tapi..kadang-kadang..luka tu boleh berdarah balik and it hurts..even worse than before...

Kadang-kadang mencintai itu menyakitkan....Kadang-kadang mempunyai itu memedihkan bila kehilangan..Loosing someone is my biggest fear....Sebab hati nie tak boleh berbohong...Sometimes I wished I didn't love him this much...so that I didn't have to go through this endless pain..

I wished I could run from all this..this reality and go hide somewhere in a cave or what..so that I could grieve...so that I could heal..Trying to make myself busy just didn't work anymore..I'm tired of trying...maybe I should just give up and vanished...

This wound left the deepest scar...that is gonna be there forever...The other day,I came back from work,saw Kyra sleeping on the sofa...My tears kept falling..Pedih gila seeing my daughter...growing up without her abah..Gila pedih perasaan itu..I still have my papa at the age of 31..and she lost her dad at the age of 9..Tell me how am I supposed to feel about it? :( :(

And all of you gotta bear with me..kan..I'm sorry..Its just that sometimes..it felt so tiring..going on...without your strength...I'm praying that things will get better one day..Please pray for me and Kyra....You take care darlings...