assalamualaikum..Day 28 today...yang penuh dengan kecelaruan...Firstly,I wanna thank you all that requested friend iFB,message me in FB and left comments here in my blog.I want you all to know that I appreciate it so very much,but I just don't know what to reply..Insy,1 fine day,when I'm ok,I will,ok?
I started my cholesterole tablets 2 nights ago..And am feeling a bit uncomfortable..The doctor told me that I will feel a bit leguh-lenguh and sakit badan..The first night went fine,then today,mak aii,gila sakit mybadan,I woke up at 11.30am today.Tido balik after Subuh..Dahla malam bukan boleh tidur macam dulu pun.Dulu busuk-busuk pon dapat jugak 6,7 good hours of sleep..Now,nak dapat 2 hours pon bercinta,ok...
I felt so tired..so lazy to even wake up..malas..I don't wanna face the world,I don't wanna open my eyes and realize he was gone,I never even wanna go thru a day without him..pedih,seksa,segala yang tak bestlah...Semua orang cakap they never seen me this weak,never seen me this fragile,never seen me this demotivated...sesiapa yang knows me,semua tau that I'm a bubbly person..peramah gila,I usually can hide my problem with my smile..Selama nie,datangla masalah besar mana pun,I usually smile aja..
But this time,its different...I dont know when the same jovial girl will appear again..I'm just a sad girl now.I know allah chooses to menduga hambanya yang diarasakan mampu..But,can I?I'm too weak for this trial..I'm getting weaker everyday..i'm getting demotivated day by day..I wished I could just stop the time..and rest in my cave...
Have you ever love somebody so much it makes you cry?Ok,still rasa nak hantuk kepala kat dinding..Still wished that i could hide all the happy status in my FB...Tau apa yang paling hurt?When he told me he's not gonna leave me....And he did!
5 ulasan:
salam to u meen,
I was blog hopping and got stuck here. My deepest condolences to u and ur family.
Jgn paksa diri untuk jadi strong kalau u masih belum strong. U will be strong bila u rasa u dah tak perlu menangis. Selagi u rasa u perlu menangis, then cry.
U take care
When my niece lost her husband 3 mths ago, she was out of touch with everbody for > 2 mths, didn't even want to talk to me on the phone.. but now she is slowly recovering. Her hubby had burnt injuries frm plane crash in Ramadan & survived for 2 weeks. It was a tragedy for her & 4 kids & us too. The day her son was sitting for upsr, the father's body was being driven frm johor to kedah for burial. He was answering questions with tears running down his face. But i think he is strong... and you ARE too Meen. Just read Alfatihah for him.. all the time.
I hope you and Kyra get all the support you need during this tough time. You can try joining support group, as well as, seeing bereavement therapist. I can't never imagine being in your shoes, I don't even know what to say to you, but I really wish you well, even when you can't see the end of the tunnel now.
take care kakak.
kuburnya terang disana insyaAllah. alfatihah selalu. itu tanda sayang dan rindu kakak untuk dia ;)
babe dunno whether u remember me or not..I kawan ziela..kak leen..just knew bout ur hubby...condolence to u and kyra...be strong gal...cry whenever u want to..its ok..yup it will takes times..sgt simpati ngan u I cried bila baca ur writing...take care..
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