How Its Gonna Be?

assalamualaikum...Friday again today..Went to the mall on my own yesterday.Bought 2 clothes,hair band and Kyra's stuffs.I felt hungry yesterday!Hah,thats new..Went to have a BBQ chicken with rice and coleslow..Then just lazying around the mall...

Went swimming with Kyra afterwards...After almost an hour of swimming,I decided to dived and dipped my face in the freezing cold water.When I emerged from the water,suddenly,I smelled something...a nice smell..Tak lain tak bukan,Its his smell! I swear It felt like he just passed by!The smell lasted for almost 2 minutes..Then It strucked my mind..whether he was there?Checking on us...I said I love him,I said I love him so much and I missed him..Hope he can feel that and hear me..Call me mad,I know!!!

Owh,I bought novel yesterday,and read it before going to bed last night.My old friend,F called...talk and talk with him.He understands what I've been through as he had the same experience a few years ago.So,good,at last someone knows how it really feels to lost someone you love in front of your naked eyes.Its painful..too painful..No one can understand how deep the wound is.

However,I decided not to dragged myself too much into sadness,I know that everyone will go someday..Its just a matter of time...So,merintih is definetely not helping and I'm glad that eventho I cry I never questioned Allah why me,why him or why us..He has his own reason/reasons.Siapalah I as hambaNya yang lemah nak mempersoalkan....Its ok...redha...

Ok,I hope today will be a better day for me.Although I still cry,someone told me,kalau tak rindu and tak teringat,that means,tiadalah kasih sayang,kan.I'm not a robot,I have feelings.And when I missed him,I will cry and recite fatihah.Crying is not an indication that we're weak,its merely because we're human....

My darling husband,hang in there sweatie,Mama tak henti-henti pray to Allah that one day,we'll be together again...there..insya Allah yer sayang...