Angel Of Mine....

assalamualaikum...I slept the whole morning today..most probably due to the fact that I didn't sleep that well last night..Went out to clinic to enquire bout blood test.I felt giddy and nausea this 2,3 days...and after sugar test,I realised that my sugar level was low..way too low.Maybe that's why rasa macam nak pengsan...adoila......:(

Hari nie I try nak cakap psl happy thoughts la skets...sebabnya,penat dah menangis everytime I update blog nie.Firstly, Sorry,I taknak guna perkataan 'late husband' sebab rasa pedih nanti.My husband nie is an artist tau..bukan artist pelakon ke penyanyi ker..he's talented in arts..Very good at drawing...very good at poetry and he can play several musical instruments like guitar,drums,piano,keyboards,etc. I read one of the poem he wrote to me before,dated September 2000.Mak ai,syahdu hati nie..Tipu la kalau I cakap I tak nangis..

Cemana mamat nie pikat hati I?One day I tengah atas bus..he called me up,and played his guitar and sang Belaian Jiwa..of course la I tangkap cintan..Ayat power tau mamat nie..Dia bleh cakap apa tau kat I..dia tak percaya I takda boyfriend masa kenal dia..Dia cakap,its okla if you ada boyfriend lain pun,I tak kisah share you..asalkan I dapat jugak dengan you.Gila ke haper mamat nie?

What I love about him is..taulah lelaki melayu payah nak cari yang romantic,ada pun sekerat dua aja,and he is one of them..Dia nie bukan time belum dapat kita aja dia penyayang,dah kahwin 10 tahun pun,dia still bukakkan pintu kereta,put my jacket on,ikatkan my shoe lace..Cam terbalik pulak,patut I pulak yang buat,kan.And dia sangat ringan tulang buat kerja rumah,basuh and sidai baju,basuh pinggan,kemas dapur,masak..

Memang la susah nak cari orang gini..:(

And dulu kalau I tak boleh tidur malam,he will sing and tepuk2 sampailah I tertidur..So now cemanalah I nak tidur malam?? Haru tak haru??? The first time he asked me to be his gf,kan.We were talking over the phone.I was in Sg Wang,dia kat Langkawi la keje at that time.Tetiba dia tanya whether I could be his gf?I said I gotta think 1st(saja poyo..jual mahal kunun..padahal hati tuh dah tergedik2)..I said,call me again lain kali and I'll give the answer.

Boleh pulak he called me 10 mins later and asked again..So,I answered yes.The weirdest thing he ever did for me was when my dad got sick,he took the 1st bus from Kedah,6 hrs journey,console me for 2 hrs and go back to kedah again..Terharu hokey....Then ada pulak kejadian time kat A&W tuh,I boleh pulak tercalarkan jam Casio yang dia paling sayang.Pucat lesi muka I that time..Dia cakap,dia lagi sayang I than that jam.

Darn..now I baru remember something..Dia selalu tanya I soalan nie tau.."yang,you tau tak I sayang you"? I cakap,"Tak".EEi,teruknya you nie,dia cakap.."Takpe,satu hari nanti I mati pasal you,baru la you tau I sayang kat You".Me?SPEECHLESS.....:(

On and Off

assalamualaikum..I was quite okay yesterday...Okay means that I have accepted the fate that God decided for me...Letting him go..and yes..saya sudah redha...However,I still can't manage the fact that I missed him...

Ya Allah,rindu teramat sangat...rindu dengan ke-poyo-an dia..rindu dengan ke-lorat-an dia..rindu dengan kasih sayang dia...I remembered dia selalu je suap I dengan Kyra makan dengan tangan..serious rasa disayangi..:(

Kesian you all kan kena baca luahan hati me..I'm so sorry..Writing in my blog nie ajalah satu-satunya cara I can release my sadness and emptiness..Talking bout him here at least soothe my soul......I accept pemergian dia,redha dengan ketentuan tuhan..However,I still fail..fail to be strong...fail to block my tears...:(

Tetiba teringat lagu belaian jiwa..A song he played and sang that captured my heart,sealed my soul...Eventho its 12 years ago,still felt like its just yesterday..Terngiang-ngiang lagu tu in my ears...Bila segala kegundahan nie akan berakhir I'm not sure..Hopefully not for long...as I can't bear the pain of missing him no more..:(

"It was you...who put those clouds above me..It was you..who made the tears fall down...It was you..who made my blue eyes blue.."

Aku Redha..Alhamdulillah..

assalamualaikum...Its 3 am now and I still can't sleep.I think its because I can't let go off my husband..tak boleh nak redhakan kepergian dia,maybe sebab terkejut dia meninggal time I did the CPR..I'm still hanging and floating...whether to accept that he's already gone or not.Alhamdulillah,been talking to my Mom and dad...Firstly,syukur arwah pergi pada hari Jumaat di mana,insy beliau terlepas dari fitnah dan sengsara kubur..Alhamdulillah..

Mama cakap,dunia ini hanya sementara dan perantaan ke sana.She said nikmat dunia ni ibarat debu aja jika dibandingkan dengan nikmat di sana yang kekal abadi.Mama kata kalau I can accept that semua yang hidup pasti mati,insy I takkan sedih and rasa sengsara.I was listening to her..tried so hard to understand..I somehow accept it..but not fully..

However,ditakdirkan tonight I can't sleep..Then syukur,tiba-tiba Allah itu membuka pintu hati ni,untuk melihat hidup ini dari perspective berbeza.Mengapa Allah menguji kita hambaNya dengan dugaan yang maha hebat??

• Untuk membersihkan dan memilih, yang mana orang mukmin yang sejati dan yang mana orang2 munafik

• Untuk mengangkat darjat dan menghapuskan dosa

• Untuk menguji sejauh mana ketaatan dan kesabaran hambaNya

• Untuk membentuk dan mendidik keperibadian manusia, sehingga menjadi umat yang berbudi tinggi

• Sebagai latihan..supaya manusia terbiasa menerima berbagai ujian, dengan demikian akan bertambah kesabaran, kuat cita-cita dan tetap pendirian..
  

firman Allah swt dlm surah Albaqarah ayat 286

"Allah swt tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya"

Riwayat Imam Bukhari

"Tidak ada balasan kecuali syurga bagi hambaku yang beriman yang telah Aku ambil kembali kekasihnya (Aku mematikan seseorang yang disayanginya seperti anak, adik-beradik dan sesiapa sahaja yang di sayangi oleh seseorang) dari kalangan penghuni dunia dan dia hanya mengharapkan pahala daripadaKu (dengan bersabar). " 

Alhamdulillah..syukur,akhirnya Tuhan buka pintu hati ini untuk menerima pemergiannya..Mungkin segala keluh kesah dan keresahan itu yang membuat I felt so agitated..Syukur ke hadrat Ilahi..

To my family and friends especially Mama dengan Papa,Boy... yang tak jemu motivate and calm me down..Terima kasih banyak..To friends yang banyak menyokong,thank you so much,I really appreciate it..Semoga kalian semua mendapat balasan yang baik dariNya..amin...

Sleepless Night again..

assalamualaikum...I don't know whether its normal or not that I experience sleeping disorder.I'm tired as I can't sleep at night...kalau boleh pun just around 1,2 hours..then terjaga and terus solat subuh..I'm sooo tired...Thus,I tend to get a nap in the morning..My body felt soo weak..I felt so demotivated..

I haven't cry for almost 2,3 days now...which I don't know why.I guess I cried too much last week till my tears dried up..I still feel that sharp pain in my heart,the disappointment,the hurt..However,there's no more tears going out.I hated this feeling as I'd rather cry than not crying.Not crying hurt me even more...at least crying makes me tired,thus,I can try to get some sleep..

I still miss him..every seconds...I wanna be with him..every minutes..But I can't.I had to be strong..eventho I'm so fragile inside..Kyra deals with her dad's death better than me..I had to blocked my mind most of the time in order to live a normal life.I don't think I'm gonna have a normal life like I did before...My life will change 360 degrees after this.Gonna have to send and pick Kyra to school now,gonna have to pack her lunch box.All this while,my husband did all of that as I'm busy getting ready for class..I will miss his sense of humour..I will miss his tender care.I still sit on his lap before he goes to work..Now I'm gonna have to cut my own nails..all this while,he cut it for me..for 10 years..I'm gonna have to comb my own hair,ironed my own hair now,as he's no longer around...physically..:(

I'm so tired...tired of being sad,tired of missing him..nak mintak hari kiamat cepat2 pon,my amalan tak berapa nak cukup..:(.I know his roh is still here with us..and I don't want him to be sad seeing me crying all the time.I better stop now...I don't even know what to write anymore...I had to accept that no matter how hard I cry,he will not come back..

My love,semoga dikau tenang di sana..I sayang you..I sayang you sangat...tapi I tak mampu nak buat apa-apa sebab semua ni dah termaktub untuk kita..Kalau I boleh ganti you,I would...but i can't...Maafkan I...

Grieving Mode.......

Assalamualaikum…Having to cope with the death of my loved ones is certainly not easy for me and everyone else I guess.I was living in my own world..living in denial for the past 7 days.Why? Simply because I had to run errands, busy with the funeral and tahlil. I had to blocked my mind..to ensure everything went smoothly.Otherwise,I’d be like a crop on the bed,physically alive,but dead inside…In order to gain some strength to get up every morning,I had to pretend he went away for a while and be back later..yes,its pathetic I know!

After everything settled,I started my grieving process yesterday.Owh my…didn’t occur to me its gonna be this painful.Getting thru the night was definitely the hardest part.Kept looking at the clock,1 a.m,3 a.m,5 a.m.How I wished my eyes would gave up and I could get some decent sleep.

I haven’t been sleeping well for the past 7,8 days. Yesterday I was too tired.. tired of the tight schedule I had last week…Tired of having a panic attack everytime I opened my eyes in the morning.And owh,I had to breath through the oxygen mask yesterday..it makes me tired as well…Nothing else than a panic and anxiety attack I had everytime my evil mind reminisce about his last breath..yes,He died while I was giving him a CPR..Till now,me and Kyra tried so hard to accept that this is fate rather than blaming on our CPR skill..:(

How I wished this is just another nightmare..I began to realize that he was not here with us anymore..However,smelling his t-shirt,looking at old videos somehow reminded me of his presence in our life before…I wished I could just lie down,close my eyes and sleep…and when I wake up, he’ll be there…bringin my breakfast in bed…like usual..:(

As for now,I wanna grieve…..be in my cave..just keep quiet and cry..crying makes me feel better…However,some nights,the tears dried up and I ended crying in my heart..Which is more painful,felt like you’ve been stabbed a million times and the pain is too great..

People said time will heel all wounds. But I don’t know how  long it’ll take for me. Told my fren the other day,if only our religion allow us to not buried the deceased.I would just ‘awet’ him and put him beside me on the bed..Talking to him,eventho I know he won’t reply back.Yes,I’m crazy.No doubt of that.

I did something  super crazy the other day.When the funeral home asked me about the depth of the grave..I suggested for 2.I wished I could be buried with him some day.Yes..I’m creepy,I’ve booked my place…Told Kyra to write it down..just in case..One day..so,she’ll know..The crazy part was when Kyra sulked and told me I should’ve asked the grave to be dug for 3..She said that we can all be one happy family again! She made me cried..yes.. Cried like mad!

My tears just kept running out..the songs were outta tune and the air now feels so thick to breathe in..Ya Allah,give me some strength..So that me and Kyra could go through this great dugaan…For you,sayang..You’ve been missed every minutes and again..If I could give anything to bring you back,no doubt of that!

When Nothing Else Matters..

assalamualaikum......Tomorrow genap 7 days pemergian suami tersayang.Sangat cliche 'tersayang' itu.Bukan semua tahap sayang adalah sama,ada yang sayang kerana material,ada yang sayang kerana pangkat,dan ada juga yang sayang kerana rupa.Dulu orang selalu cakap,cinta bukan boleh bagi kita makan.Kalau tak ada duit,cinta pon terbang.

Ada lagi ke cinta yang sebetul2 nya,sanggup berdua tak makan,pandang each other and perut rasa kenyang?? Ada lagi tak orang yang sanggup share roti 30 sen dua orang?Its painful for me sebab we never put money first,on top of love..Biar lapar berdua janji bersama...Susah senang kami bersama..I remembered When I was pregnant 7 months,my late husband had to fetch me from work..Not by bus,motorcycle or car..but by walking 5km every night..5km pergi dan balik...Sangat kesian..Pernah both of us terlepas bus masa hujan lebat,duduklah berdua kat bus stop dalam hujan ribut..

My late husband selalu cakap,cinta itu mesti ikhlas cinta.Means kalau duduk berdua dalam hutan,dalam gua ke,still boleh survive walau takda material.And I believed him.Sebab all this while,I lived with his love..bukan harta benda,bukan pangkat dan rupa.Hidup dalam kesederhanaan...

So,seriously,bila dah jadi like this,nothing else matters to me..I told my fren Nana the other day,if..only if I could trade anything for him,I will..I mean anything,wang ringgit,nyawa..I would..If I were given a choice whether its me or him to go..I would choose myself..simply because this pain is too deep for me...And that I know my daughter would have her dad back..:(

I still can't sleep..and for the first time I have to force myself to eat..Sebelum nie suka-ria aja makan,makan and makan..Now,nak habiskan sekeping roti pun sangat seksa..I missed him..missed him so much..teman bercakap,teman bergurau-senda,teman bermain,teman bergaduh...Hidup ini terasa tiada indah..hanya sepi,hanya nestapa...

It doesn't mean I don't love Kyra..I love her..tapi sumber kekuatan selama ini sudah tiada..jadinya langkah itu agak goyah.I know I gotta be strong for her..But I can't lie to myself..sometimes I feel like giving up..I'm too tired to go on,tiada daya untuk meneruskan kehidupan..

And I know some of you would ask me to be patient..and be strong..I know I should..and thank you for that..However,I wished its as easy as saying it.I certainly don't wanna be in sorrow,no one wanna be in pain.How I wished I could just move on,open a new chapter and never look back.However,I'm just an imperfect human-being,banyak flaws..sangat lemah..I may look ok,but deep inside,sangat goyang..I'm still in shock,I don't know what's going on now,I'm not sure whether this is just a dream or its really happening..I'm confused.

Di waktu begini,I turned to god..ask for His forgiveness and love..Mengadu padaNya demi secebis kekuatan..untuk meneruskan langkah yang agak capik....Selain itu,hanya pusara menemani di kala sepi...

Went to see Him with Kyra today,berbekalkan air yassin dan kelopak mawar..Talked to him..tell him how we missed him,how he should not worry,how much we loved him..and wished we was here with us..Air mata tak terbendung...Kyra was sobbing,and I don't know what else to do to console her..As she cried,I cried along...We hugged and cried together..Sakit..sangat sakit...

Bukan hilang punca pencarian is my main concern..bukan hilang driver,hilang plumber or hilang electrician rumah..It was more than that..I lost my best friend,my soul mate,my lover,my husband....Namun,sekukuh mana ikrar kasih kami,sedalam mana cinta ini,masih ada kuasa yang lebih Agung,apa daya kami melawanNya.Semoga I got the strength to go on..untuk menjaga his amanah,which is Kyra...I miss you...love..so much......

AL-FATIHAH........

1972-2010

Selamat Beradu Cinta...

Assalamualaikum...today,22th of December,my late husband selamat disemadikan di Earlham Cemetery,Muslim section.Syukur kerana walaupun uk nie bukanlah negara Islam,tapi Muslim section di cemetery telah diletakkan di kawan yang menghadap Qiblat..Subhanallah...

I woke up early today,took a bath,drink something to give me energy..Then went of to Gordon Barber Funeral home to wait for the washing...I got to see him before and after washing.I kissed his face,kissed his hands,asked for forgiveness,and kiss his foot.Told Him that he's gonna be alright,told him that he will be missed,told him how much I loved him...that I will see him one day..:(

Both me and Kyra shed tears..She was crying..it breaks my heart,never occured to me dia kan menjadi anak yatim at the age of 9..Pity her :(.Then after almost an hour,the washing is done.I've been informed that the process went smoothly,his body was soft..I know that as when I hold his hands,its very soft..He was really clean...It somehow calmed me down..I don't know where I got the strength to stand up and see him for the last time before they close him up...

Me and Kyra accompany him in the jenazah car to the mosque..Alhamdulillah,ramai Muslims yang berebut2 membantu,mengangkat keranda,dan menyembahyangkan.Ada yang personally said the condolences and give me some donations.At around 1pm,we moved to the cemetery which is 5 mins away from my uni.I stayed in the car while the men do the grave..Once again,berebut orang nak pegang shovel and helped..My husband's colleague yang non muslim pon datang to pay the last respect and bring flowers.

I didn't cry at all at the grave as I don't wanna torture him inside.I stand there blankly,thinkin whether its a dream or not..I recite fatihah for him twice.I remembered about the 7 langkah selepas orang meninggalkan jenazah,then hoping I could stay there as long as it takes,so my husbands not gonna be along.I prayed that the malaikat is nice to him. I hope that he can answer all the malaikat's question..I really do..Yes,I'm still not sane enough..At that time,I really hope that if I be there,he won't have to answer the malaikat..yes,again.I was not sane enought that time..:(

It was snowing..and cold when the burial took place..so,to menyedapkan my hati,I pretend the snow is like the hujan rahmat.Alhamdulillah,He left the world on Friday...Syukur sangat..I'm still in very much pain..A pain no one knows except me...A pain that I don't know when it can heal..

Di kesmpatan ini,I really want to thank everyone..I mean everyone yang tak putus-putus memberi semangat,kata-kata perangsang,membantu pengurusan jenazah dan menderma wang ringgit.Saya tak mengenali kalian,tapi kalian bermurah hati menderma untuk arwah suami saya.Saya sangat terharu.Saya tak mampu membalas budi dan jasa baik kalian.Hanya Allah sahaja dapat membalasnya.Saya doakan agar kalian dimurahkan rezeki hendaknya...Saya dan anak,Kyrana sangat-sangat menghargai segala pertolongan kalian.

Cinta,I did my best...the best that I can..untuk menyempurnakan urusan pengebumian abang..Mama doakan semoga abang tenang di sana,mengahadap pencipta.Janganlah abang risau,mama akan jaga anak kita dengan sehabis daya mama.Akan mama didik dia dengan ilmu agama dan duniawi,agar dia menjadi anak yang solehah.Selamat beradu sayang,insya Allah kita kan berjumpa lagi di alam yang kekal abadi..Dunia hanyalah sementara,namun,cinta suci adalah untuk selamanya...Mama redhakan pemergianmu,walau dalam rintihan..Maafkan mama,kerana tulus menyintaimu...Al-Fatihah...

What were you thinkin?

I don't know whether I'm sane or not..But I need to talk to you..seems like yesterday I saw your face...I would hold you in my arms,I would take the pain away....There's nothin I wouldn't do..to hear you voice again..sometimes I wanna call you..but I know you won't be there...

I hurt my self....I feel broke inside...so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this...Are you looking down upon me?Are you proud of who I am??There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance,to look into your eyes..and see you looking back....

If I had just one more day..I would tell you how much I missed you since you went away....I wished I had one more chance to tell you how much I love you...What were you thinkin now darlin?Did you miss me as much as I missed you???? I'm in pain,darlin.....It would be nice if I could be in your arms again.......................Tomorrow is the last chance..for me to kiss you....to see you...It would kill me inside...I hope Allah grants me the strength for tomorrow...Amin....

Sayang,you are missed......Kyra woke up this morning saying that she dreamed of you last night...you picked her from school like you always do..She was shocked to see you..But you told her you just fainted...not that you go away forever....And I hurt myself again...tears running out...like it would never end............

How do I?

How do I live without you?it's almost impossible to get through the nights without you..how can I be strong,when you are my strength all this while...I need u now,don't leave me like this..feeling so alone and weak.it's hard to say good-bye when I know you're not coming back...cinta ini terlalu dalam,kasih ini terlalu agung..hilangmu tak berganti...ku tahu,Dunia ini hanya sementara...namun begitu my love for you is for eternity.you fulfilled your promise,to love me till death do us part,but you left me with a hole in my heart..you said once that I must be a bidadari jelmaan Dunia for you...I wished I still could be your angel...Di sana.. Tempat yang Kekal abadi..semoga Kitakan bersama semula...Di syurga nan abadi..please wait for me there,kekasih......


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Cinta,the day you left me.....

After today,tanggal 17 Disember,hari Jumaat akan menjadi lipatan sejarah dalam hidupku. Awal pagi,white snow showered the earth..I witnessed something that's gonna be haunting me for the rest of my life..The man I love,died in my arm...Died while I was giving him CPR.

Cinta hati saya,Rahiman...you said you will love me till death do us part...memang begitu kesudahannya kisah cinta kita.You pergi tinggalkan i dengan Kyra.Words can never explain and describe how I feel...Luka...not just a scratch on my hand that will heal..a deep wound,a hole in my heart..

Sayang,I cuba jadi kuat..I cuba sabar untuk anak kita...Tapi I failed...The love is too strong,Rindu itu terlalu dalam,tidak terungkapkan...kasih itu terlalu tulus..I tewas...I ingat I kuat,yang,but I'm not..I'm to fragile..I'm torn..Hati ini umpama cermin retak seribu..Luka itu terlalu pedih......

Kenapa cepat sangat you tinggalkan I,yang??? You're supposed to give Kyrana away on the day she got married.Kita dah janji kita nak tour the world..Kita dah janji nak pergi Monaco sama-sama...Tapi you tetap tinggal I..tinggalkan I dengan seribu kelukaan..Hati I hancur,yang...hancur...:(

You cinta pertama,cinta sejati...kita sehati sejiwa,tapi ditakdirkan berpisah jua...I can't sleep,can't eat..terpaksa kumpul sisa kekuatan to wake up everyday.Nights are just scary now as I know that I will think of you all night long..Tak sedetikpun mata ini mampu lelap....

I woke up this morning....and realize..it is true..that you're gone..you left me...Mana mampu I nak teruskan hidup ni?Tanpa you..tanpa kekuatan you...I lemah..I kuat kerana you selama ni..You picked me up when I was down..You sumber inspirasi..you..kekasih sejati...

Di kala ini,hanya doa yang mampu I titipkan buat you di sana..tenanglah semadi di sana sayang..walaupun rindu ini terlalu agung,walaupun cinta ini terlalu dalam,Tuhan lebih sayangkan you....

How I wish...

Salam Tuesday everyone...Hows ur Monday?hectic?Stressful?I don't even wanna mention mine.You don't wanna imagine either.Yesterday I had to wroked over-time due to some sickness.It was damn tiring i tell you,kira,campur tolak semalam,i worked 10 hours..10 long hours..Adehh..lemah lutut,sakit badan takyah cakaplah..How I wish I can be a stay-home Mom..:(

How I wish i have more time to update my blog.I loved to share my stories with all of you..I'm so sorry i can't update as often as i should..Soo many things need to be done.Hopefully by next week I can breath la..Minggu nie agak semput..:(

On the other hand,apart from all the craziness,my business is doing very well..very-very well indeed,which I never expected pon. Rezeki,kan..kita tak tahu..I always believe in hardwork.No pain,no gain.Apart from breastfeeding gears,I now sell baby strollers,car seats and other baby-related items like infra red thermometer, baby bouncer..pendek kata semua berkenaan babylah..So,do visit my sales page yeah.Go to FB and type Bebe Maison.

Ok peeps,gonna have to go now,longggggg dayyyy waiting for me tomorrow..Bye..:)

To Hell with Perfection!!

I used to be a perfectionist before..Rasa sedih bila tak dapat highest mark..disappointed when I didn't do my best..yada..yada..But now,not anymore..I learn to see things in different perspective..Malas nak stresskan diri..

I used to set a rule and certain expectations for my daughter.paling I ingat,I scolded her when she didn't do well in her gymnastics competition.I was furious because I know she can do better,I know her ability...I just thought that she didn't work as hard as she should.But then..I realize,human has its own flaws..Like me,I'm bad with numbers,maths in particular..SPM dapat credit pon pasal tangan naik lebam kena pukul dengan pembaris dengan papa..belajar maths dengan papa sampai nangis-nangis..Phobia..tapi nasib baik juga kena marah,kena pukul,kalau tak,ntah berapa dapat maths spm.owh tuh pasal flaws,pasal advantages pulak,banyak..one of it,is photographic memory.I still remember things when I was 3.Weird eh??Tuh kelebihan tuhan bagi pada saya..What do I remember?I remembered yang dulu time papa bangun buat susu masa menyewa belakang umah makcik kiah,I mesti ikut pegi dapur,then curi ratah susu nespray boy..Hopefully I'm not halucinating..hehehehe

Ok,why the title?yesterday,Kyra nak try buat home made pizza..Yelah pizza sini,other than Margherita,memang non halal la kan..So,I decided to let her do what she wants,no rules,nada..Biarlah she learned..and be independant kan..You all layan la gambar yer:-

Gigih,uli doh pizza

Toppings are minced beef and lotsa cheese!!

Ala mama..it looks like Monkeys Face!!

Mama cakap??

TO HELL WITH PERFECTION,DEAR...

Janji sedap,masuk perut nak hancur serupa tuh jugak!! Lega dapat teman budak nie buat pizza,selagi tak buat,selagi tuh tanya..So,mommy-daughter time today!!

My Dream Car

Heylu laling...salam selasa yer..Selamat Menyambut Maal Hijrah..baca dah do'a tahun baru?Kita baca dah tadi time Maghrib uk..Alhamdulillah..Semoga hidup kita semua lebih diberkati yer...

Yesterday was hari yang paling celaru for me..tau why?i started my European Economic essay last month..Kengkonon start awal,takdalah stress buat keje last minute kan..Mr R plak last night keje night shift,so I memang dah plan nak habiskan slow and steady la..The essay is 2,000 words..I dah siap 1,600 macamtuh..so kira nak karang conclusion and buat references list ajalah..Tup-tap tup tap,Microsoft Office kat my mac nie boleh pulak close unexpectedly,benda yang I dah save semua hilang..Gila tak gila..Deadline today 3pm and at 11pm last night I had to start from zero..Ziltch!!Zamn it sungguh! Rasa nak menangis hokey!! Dahla laki tiada di sisi nak console..adoila....Mr R siap call lagie tanya I ok ka dak pasal suara dah macam nak meraung yer..:(

Tapi,nak meraung pon tadak guna,better start..Buatlah I till 3am sampai 1,200 words kot,then masuk tido..Dah en somi takda,nak tido pon tak berapa nak lena..Rasanya 3 jam je kot tido..Then bangun tadi pagi,sambungla..Kelam-kabut,time nak print la perut memulas,time tuh jugak printer buat hal..adoilah,time tuh jugak jalan jam nak pegi Uni hantar essay..gilo betol!! nevertheless,berjaya jugak antar pada jam 2.37pm,nyaris lagi..Tuh pon tak makan saman,paking tempat disabled kat main car park..lantaklah labuu,janji tak kena 5 points penalty penangan antor assignment lewat..TRAGIS hokey!!

Okay2,dah cita hal kalut,nie nak tunjuk dream car no 2..No.1 tau dah,kan..Mini Cooper S. nak beli macam mampu jer dah,but still contemplate whether we should buy an SUV kotla nak roadtrip ke mana hala sampai Cardiff ke,edinburg ke kan..:P Angan-angan Mak andeh ginilah,peginya tatau bila,dok kalut dengan segala macam mak nenek nie..Melalut dah,nak tunjuk keta nie...Nak tengok??? Nie dier..

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BMW M3 E92!!! Cun wohhhh..Mr R cakap kat Malaysia price nya sangat mengarut which is RM700kkk!!! Gilo aih,bleh beli Banglo sebijik tuh ha..Kat sini mampulah skets..So now I dok berangan nak aim ini kereta la..But kena beli rumah dulu,pegi Mekah dulu la..Then baru boleh pikir harta duniawi,kan..kan..kan..??


Owh,sila LIKE my sales page pada yang belum yeah..Go to FB and type Bebe Maison.Thanks

When You Feel Stuck

Happy Friday everyone! Sorry lembabs skets nak update blog nowadays.Sangat busy..ke buat-buat bz eh...hehehehe..Takla,busy betul,ada 3 project paper nak submit,dengan presentation lagie..Chehs,sempat lagie nak hupdate blog..

Things are crazy for me..sangat gila..Nevertheless,syukur Tuhan still kurniakan rezeki and permudahkan segalanya.this entry is for those yang tengah stuck,banyak problem,hidup tak ceria..believe me,I was stucked this 2,3 months.banyak gila masalah menimpa,semua jenis masalah pon ada..dengan tak sihat,keja cam nak pengsan...

Hidup nie tak selalunya indah..Kita kena syukur bila kita diuji dan diasak dengan segala macam benda..Itu menunjukkan Tuhan ingat kat kita..Just remember,Tuhan takkan uji kita jika Dia tau kita tak mampu menanggungnya.So,kena kuatkan semangat.

I was really disappointed...felt so bad,de-motivated..takda semangat nak hidup..semua tuh I dah rasa..But,I got up,held my head high,and march on.tak guna i menangis meratap,hoping that the problems will go away,kan..Baik I wipe my tears,stand up and try to solve it or lagi best,pretend its never even exist!

My dear friends...1 nak pesan,jangan lost hope..jangan cepat putus asa.Bila kita cepat putus asa,lagi teruk kita rasa.Semua masalah dunia nie ada solution dia,memangla kita sedih,kecewa,risau,marah.But jangan sampai segala macam perasaan tu melemahkan kita.Life is too short to worry bout those things.Go Out,have fun...jangan difikirkan sangat gundah gulana tu...believe me,I gone thru worst..

Eventho,I pernah rasa teruk sangat,macam dah dead end,tapi Tuhan itu Maha adil,maha mengetahui,Maha penyayang..Di saat I dah nak lost hope,Dia tunjukkan sinar,my Bebe Maison sales has been really good,ada jer orang bank in duit hari-hari..Sales tak putus langsung..whish I'm thankful for that..Then banyak benda yang datang membantu di saat I almost buntu.So friends out there,sabar banyak-banyak.segala rasa tak best tuh just temporary...Insy things will be better,just believe..believe in Him..and yourself..Happy weekends darlings!!!

(Pic from google)