assalamualaikum..Last night was the worst night ever..subhanallah...I dreamt of him like 3,4 times..Then bangun this morning,tengok mata dah bengkak.It started with Kyra asking me to open his dad's FB laa malam tadi..lepas tuh,both of us were drowned by tears..adoilaaaa...then dua-dua tertidur dalam linangan air mata...haru lahhhhhhhhhhhh....
Then macam biasa lah,terjaga 2,3 times through the night,mimpi dia,mimpi cakap dengan dia,mimpi that I told him I'd rather be the one who go first than him..macam-macam!!then bangun pagi,mata dah bengkak,mesti dalam mimpi pon meraung nih!!!
I just wanna get it over with....penatla teringat,penatla menangis,penatla in sorrow and pain..Penat tengok Kyra menangis teringat kat her dad...Sayu gila....apala anak sekecil tuh faham tentang kematian..Did she knows that her dad won't give her away during her wedding?Did she knows that he's not gonna be around for family scrabble night or Uno night?Adoihla...pedihnya....
I went to the registrar again today,to settle the death certs...Kan registrar tuh sekali dengan birth dengan marriage registration kan.So,adalah 2,3 couples yang tengah happy-happy pegang bouquet of flower,mushy2 dengan couple masing2...yelah newly weds,kan..me?I'm torned apart..Gila Hurt..And there I was,kena dafter kematian...orang yang I cinta...pedih..pedih..hurt..Hurt...sakit gila jiwa nie...
Sometimes I rasa I can go on,sometimes rasa i can't..Tapi yang penting,saya amat Hurt today....:(
7 ulasan:
Owh babeeeeee....
*HUGGGGGGSSSSSSS*
:~~~~~(
xde ape yg dpt i ckp selain harap terus tabah dan sabar..
u mesti terus kuat utk kyra..
jaga diri baik2..
salam meen
yaAllah, i baru jek stumbled upon ur blog today..n bile i baca kisah sedey u..tak tertahan linangan air mata rase sebak di dada
even i dont u know u sis...i know exactly how u felt
i bukan hilang my husband ..tapi i kehilangan my ayah n 3 bros..for the past 4 years
n each time teringat kan mereka ...seriesly mcm ada satu pisau yg menikam di dada n carik2 di hati ini..yesss dear i hear u
plssss plsss b strong, kalo u sayangkan die recite n baca quran sllau ..sedekahkan pd nya..insyaAllah doa u sampai pd arwah suami u...
tabahkan hati kuatkan iman...ingat pd Allah..Allah bersama dgn org yg sabar
salam meen - at times it can get worse that is for sure because yr loss and yr love is real - hang on there go with the flow - biar penat sampai tak terasa penat Meen - walk on and on and never stop just breath in and out never hold even when it is a conscious effort
u take care
take care Meen, banyakkan bersabar..akak tumpang simpati...moga Meen tabah...
pagi ni lompat2 katak dr blog ke blog jumpa meen komen kat blog ereen..
moga Allah beri kekuatan pada both both of u...
I am just a stranger who has stumbled across ur blog.
My condolonces. Grief is a painful thing. Been there.
Especially all alone in a foreign land.. Been there too.
But do seek solace in Allah..
Seek help for support.
Most importantly, the daughter may need more support too.
Just my 2 pence
dear sis, i lost my father more than 3 years ago.a week before my spm.silly things came to my mind that moment.but only one thing that went into the minds of my siblings and i.to be strong especially for our mother.a mother like you.
we did know talk much about our father since then.because we're afraid that our mother would cry.we still cry and sad but not in front of our mother.we dont want her to cry anymore.there was this one time that my mother asked me : dont you ever thought of your father?you seem ok.
physically yes but mentally?no.
but my siblings and i did that because we dont want her to cry anymore.i cried till i could not cry anymore sis.and as time passes by, we're okay.
believe me, be strong for your daughter.nangis la sepuasnya.dulu shower room tu tempat saya wept continuously .bezanya dulu saya sekolah asrama.
in my case, i was very devastated till a point i thought, no matter how high i achieve academically,i would not have a father to pick up the stroll for me like others.meeting ibu bapa, my mother je datang. award day, orang lain semua ada ayah, i tak da.
but soon enough, what happened matures me.i grown up.and proud of it. turn negativity into positivity.it's not easy i know.but worth it.
my father passed away because of hospital carelessness.i took it as a reason to become a doctor.
just remind yourself, silly things would benefit you at all.
be strong sis.i still remember the scientific cause of death of my father.
teach her of what happened.teach her and eventually she would grow up.
always here.vocKalynn@yahoo.co.uk
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