So Close No Matter How Far

Heya gals...Ampun yer tak sempat nak update blog.I'm stayin at clients house for a week,so,busy bee lah,nak drop by you all punya blog pon tak dan lagi...Hopefully next week is a better week for me..I really miss my better half and kyra..Seminggu tuh tak tido umah..:(

Ada apa dengan tajuk entry ini? This is dedicated to my Mom..i realized that I never talk about her..like in a special entry..My dad ada jugaks during fathers day tu,kan..Its not that I dont want too,but i think I dont understand her all this while...

During my teenage years,I rarely spend time with my mom..I hate the fact that she is too busy with her work,hate the fact that my friends moms are housewives and can spend time together anytime they want.i rebelled,I complained,I lashed my disappointment in my diary...I dont understand why she had to go out at 6am in the morning and comes home at 7pm.I dont understand why she had to work in the weekends..Or maybe I do,but i chose to be ignorance.

The only time that I got my mom all to myself is when we went to Minnessota in 1999.We shared the same bed,eat sambal bilis together and even went for a Roller-Coaster ride together at Mall of America. We exchanged stories every night as we couldnt sleep due to the jet-lagged we had..It was the 1st time i told her whom I got crush with,which boy likes me and etc.. The best time I had...The most memorable things she has ever done and touched my heart was when I woke up on 28th of April and there it is a birthday card from her.I never expect that as we were never close before..I remembered that i cried reading the card... 

Now,thousands of miles separates us..But she 's always near..there's a special place for her in my heart..untouched...I've made silly,irrational mistakes,I hurt her..I broke her heart..and i believe i made her cried soo many times all this while...But I never see it...until I become a mother myself...I too have to work hard,weekends,nights,just to ensure I can provide enough for my daughter...sometimes even worked 24 hours a day so that I can save some money for my daughters education when she grows up...Now I do understand..why my mom worked hard...I regret my actions...i should have been more understanding...I should have known that what she did was the act of love...for us....

Mama,I know that I used to say that i dont wanna be like you..but the fact is I am like you...I just dont wanna admit that...If its not because of you,I could never cook until now...you taught me to be brave,outspoken..independant....I know I've made you cry,but I do make you laughed,I did made you proud..Distance may separates us physically,but spiritually,you are a part of me,your blood runs in my body and nothing can change that..Mama,I know I rarely said this,but I want you to know that I love you..so much..and there will be no me without you,Mom...:)