asalamaualaikum my dearest readers..I'm sorry that I've not been updating my blog lately.I'm ok,I'm fine..Its just that i've been through a lot.The fact that I'm not ready to move on..the fact that I still can't move on...the fact that I'm still not getting the strength that I need to go on..and so on..
I'm trying to find myself pon jugak....And believe me..its not easy,the pain is not getting any better..Hmm..but 1 thing I realized,I love Malam Jumaat now...Why?Obviously not for the reason those husband and wife out there had...Its because I heard that on those nights,the roh might come and pay us a visit...I enjoyed reciting quran for me and him..I really hoped that he is happy that I recite yassin for him every malam Jumaat..
Nothing new..I still sleep with his shirt....I still dreamed of him almost every night..i still got up like 3,4 times every night feeling ketat dada...argghh..Ya Allah,please take this pain away as its becoming unbearable now...
I did a blood test the other day for thyroid..Just as a precaution..I'll be getting the result soon..Hopefully its nothing...
I was thinkin today..ada lagi ke Cinta Sejati wujud kat dunia nie?The one that he and me had?Semua orang boleh cakap I Love you?But to what extend you can prove it..If your rich husband got poor and you had nothing to eat,would you still stick by him?If your beautiful wife got sick and paralyzed,would you still love her?I had that with him.....we were together thru thick and thin...we were together when we had nothing to eat...we were together when we had to walk like 8km every night...we were together when we had to bring Kyra home with a taxi without air condition...
When I got sick,he would come to me and said he prayed to Allah that He transfered all my pain and sickness to him.....and...The most painful thing to remember is He even prayed to him,whatever happend,take Him first and Allah did..Allah granted his prayer..He was gone.....He left...I know I'm his source of strength,and he knows that well..Thats why he always pray that it should be him who go first as he knows He will not be able to go on without me..I know that..he said it...he told me he can't live without me...and I see that in his eyes...
Darling,its too painful for me when you left,but I know,if its me..you're gonna hurt more..so,I accept this fate..I know its for better..I love you..so very much,with all my heart...:(
1 ulasan:
yeah i heard that too. every malam jumaat mak ayah datang jumpa anak,dapat al fatihah or bacaan quran they would go back smiling- dont let him see you cry meen *hugs* try to think like this, if you move on he moves on aman tenteram as well. if you sad how he is at the other side? crying and be sad for you as well ? sabar meen byk byk sabar .Allah loves him more - Dia cuma dipinjamkan meen - kita semua pinjaman, anak ayah suami semua pinjaman Allah pada kita , satu hari semua akan dikembalikan kepada tuhan yang menjadikan kita
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